Monday, February 26, 2018

Three Tales of A Trump-American Dystopia, Concerning the Hardening of our Public Schools:

Three Tales of A Trump American Dystopia Concerning the Hardening of our Public Schools: The 'time wherein men live without other security than what their own strength and their own invention shall furnish them withal.' A time of '... continual fear and danger of violent death, and the life of man solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.'

---

1-Mr Davis makes the grade:

'Mister Davis'! Mr Strauss, who had been handing back our term papers, looked at me sternly.

'Mister Davis, I've saved your paper for last, Mister Davis! Here it is!'

He stood there, quivering with rage, dressed as he always was, his red tie, white shirt, and navy blue blazer, a testament to his patriotism. His eyes bulged as he handed me the paper I'd turned in last Friday. I could see it sported a bright red 'F' in magic marker on the cover.

'I have given you an F! You are a failure, Mister Davis!'

We'd had an uncomfortable relationship all this term. I didn't like him very much, and he had already let me know he didn't very much like me either. But he had never gone ballistic like this before!

'I've been teaching this class since before President Trump started in his third term! And you are undoubtedly one of the worst students I have ever had all my years teaching Americanism Versus Liberalism! You refuse to recognize the greatness of our American system! You refuse to accept even the basic tenets of American Social Darwinism! You even question the wisdom of guns in our schools!' he said waiving his arms for emphasis.

Mr Strauss was becoming more and more inflamed, and I wondered what he would do next. What he did next was to pull out a small shiny handgun from beneath his navy blue blazer, and wave it in the air. The sunlight from the tiny slit windows in the classroom glinted off its nickel plated barrel.

I cringed. 'Hey! Be careful with that!' I said, as I reached into my backpack.

'Mister Davis!' he said, 'You don't even believe in America! You don't even believe that I should be armed, armed so that I can protect our school! Protect our school from the terrorists that lurk outside our doors! Protect our country, Mister Davis! Protect America from people who want to take our guns! Protect America from The Liberals and The Progressives and The Intellectuals, and from people like you! You, Mister Davis! You! You are the enemy to our great civilization!'

He aimed the gun at me and said 'People like you, Mister Davis, need to be terminated!'

The gun shot made a deafening roar which echoed off the cinder-block walls of the classroom. Mr Strauss fell to the floor, an ugly red stain growing slowly on his white shirt, matching his red tie, and party hidden under the open blue blazer. He still held the gun loosely in his hand. There was no anger in his face anymore, just a quiet peace, and his eyes looked off in an unblinking gaze at eternity.

I now pulled my hand out of my backpack. In it was the Colt Defender that I always carry for defense. Like everyone else in our school, I'd had mandatory NRA firearms training since the 4th grade. Now my backpack had a new hole it it, but I was alright, if a bit shaken. I laid my gun, still slightly smoking, on the floor, next to Mr Strauss and held my open hands up in the air, as we had been taught to do after a shooting. As I straightened up, the Sheriffs Resource Officer assigned to our section opened the door cautiously and came into the classroom.

'What happened in here?' the SRO asked looking up from Mr Strauss to me.

'I used my constitutional right to bear arms,' I said, 'and he drew first!'

----

2-Little Jamie:

Jamie's mom put down the phone. Her husband looked up from the paper at her. 'What was that all about?' he said.

'There's been a shooting at Jamie's school, and, and... Oh God! And Jamie was the shooter!'

Jamie's father frowned. 'But how would Jamie have gotten a gun?' he asked, rubbing his chin.

'I think Jamie must have taken one of yours from the display case in the study', she said.

Jamie's father nodded and said 'Jamie must have gotten it past the guards at the entrance somehow...'

'And there's more. The other student is ... well, the other student is dead!' said Jamie's mom.

He husband's eyes widened. 'Damn!', he said.

'I know!' said Jamie's mom tearfully. 'I'm so proud!'.

'That's my little Jamie!' said her husband, smiling.

----

3-The Trouble With Young Daniel Strong:

Mr Douglas shifted uncomfortably in his chair in his office, looked directly at the parents of young Daniel Strong, and spoke forcefully.

'That's the reason I asked you here today, to discuss your the problem your son is having. I'm afraid he's not fitting in here at Parkland Elementary. He's getting into trouble with the other boys during our Personal Interaction Hour. And his Martial Arts instructor has spoken to me a number of times. I'm afraid young Daniel just isn't getting it.'

Mr and Mrs Strong looked at him, blinking. Mrs Strong spoke. 'But this is only the third grade. And Daniel is so sensitive.'

Mr Douglas cleared his throat. 'Ahem, Yes. Well, We've had to harden our schools a bit, since you went to school, I'm afraid. These days we educators have to expect a lot more of our students, even at the third grade level. And we expect much more from a third grader now days than young Daniel is able to deliver, to be blunt, Mrs Strong.'

Mr Strong looked narrowly at Mr Douglas. 'Are you telling us our son is being exiled? From the third grade? To the Dark-Lands?', he asked with a note of urgency.

'Well, we really can't have him in here with the others, Mr Strong. He's not safe here. The other students are noticing his weakness.'

Suddenly Mr Douglas brightened and said 'Oh, cheer up, though! Cheer up! We aren't going to exile young Daniel yet! Not to live in the Dark-Lands. Not just yet!

'Instead, starting this Monday, we are transferring him to another institution which is much better suited to his special needs. I'm happy to say that we have placed him in The Sandy Hook Institute for The Emotionally Under-Aggressive.

'Oh, it's a great place! Sandy Hook is a special place! They do wonderful things there! Wonderful things! They have a much better teacher to student ratio there, and a very high success rate with cases like your son's. They have a doctor who can prescribe the right medications - I hear Meta-Meth is a very popular choice now days. And it's a real boot-camp there. They'll toughen him up! You'll see. Push-ups in the morning, Tae Kwon Do in the afternoon. And there are animal killings at least once a week for every student! If he shows enough improvement he'll be mainstreamed again. Young Daniel is not so impossible a case as all that, believe me!

He paused. 'You might also...', he handed them a mimeographed list of names, 'get him a Martial Arts tutor for his weekends. Here's a few approved by the NRA.'

He smiled some more, they all stood up, shook hands and went out to see young Daniel who was waiting in the lobby. The last he saw of young Daniel Strong was that the boy turned and said 'Thank you, Warden! I won't let you down!' as he went though the door.

After they had left, Mr Douglas sighed and reflected that Daniel Strong was now at least someone else's problem. It was a sad case. He had lied to the parents, of course, but it was better that way. They did good work at Sandy Hook, but they couldn't work miracles! Exile for young Daniel Strong would occur in a few months, or a year at most. Exile to the Dark-lands, where a sudden and violent death was a near certainty. Shaking his head he went back to his desk.

----

Monday, January 8, 2018

Recommended Mini-Series

Via Netflix Streaming:

Black Mirror Season 4

(2017, Sci-Fi, 6 episodes, Violence, Adult content.  wikipedia )
This British near-future Sci-Fi series is very edgy. Each episode is a distinct story, like the old Twilight Zone TV show. I enjoyed it but my wife found it a bit intense.

Godless

(2017, Western, 7 episodes, Violence, Adult content.  wikipedia )
A hard boiled western, staring Jeff Bridges as the really, really bad guy, and Michelle Dockery (Mary from Downton Abbey) as a widowed ranch owner, just outside a town filled with only women (almost).
The initial situation seems insane, but is explained after a few episodes.  You can tell the good guy right away - his name is 'Goode'.   Something about the ranch reminded me of 'Riders of the Purple Sage', although the plot and situation is very different.

Alias Grace

(2017, Historical Drama, 6 episodes, Adult content. wikipedia)
A young servant woman in mid-1800s Ontario commits some sensational murders. This provides an interesting look at life, culture and attitudes in Canada in those times.

Ozark season 1

(2017, Crime Drama, 10 episodes, Adult content. wikipedia)
A brilliant financial adviser finds himself compelled by threat of death to move his family to the Ozarks and launder money for organized crime. The first episode is so over the top, I wondered what they could do to beat that for the rest of the season, but at times they did.

The Crown

(2016-2017, Historical Drama, 20 episodes. wikipedia)
This chronicles the lives and scandals of Queen Elisabeth II and the royal family. Sounds like a bunch of puffs arguing over which dress to wear, but they've made it interesting enough. So far, they've made it through the Profumo Affair, and more seasons should be on the way.

New York Times 100 Best Movies On Netflix

Finally, here is a 2017 list of the '100 Best Movies available on Netflix', which actually seems to only have around 50 movies listed, but this list is here: NYT 100 Best Netflix Movies.
There are a lot of movies I'd add, a bunch I'm not familiar with, and a few I'd remove (Meeks Cutoff, for instance), but at least it's some guidance.
I'd definitely agree with the following from the list: To Kill A Mockingbird, Jaws, Schindler's List, Jackie Brown, Boogie Nights, Full Metal Jacket, Zodiac, Gone Baby Gone, Memento, Spotlight, The Sixth Sense, Inside Man, The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption, and others.
A pleasant surprise is the inclusion of Pee Wee's Big Adventure, one of my favorites!

Friday, September 22, 2017

Santorum's Back!

It's Autumn, 2017 in Trumplandia, and Rick Santorum is active in Washington again, organizing a Death-To-Obamacare bill with Lindsey Graham.

Rick and Lindsey bumped into each other at the barber shop, and Rick argued that the next Republican plan should have block-grants for the states. That way, the (Republican) states that refused to take Federal money for Medicaid expansion would get their money anyway, with no or few strings attached. Lindsey ran with the idea, and the result is the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill.

It's good to see Rick back! It inspired me to build my vocabulary with the following exercise.

(Warning! Language, Stan! Language!)

It was late at night, when the fax machine in my den began to churn. Something from the DNC, a proposed law to be introduced tommorrow.

As I read the legislation my guts began to heave, as if someone had replaced the contents of my stomach with a whole bucket-full of santorum. This legislation would wipe out insurance for all, and death would be the only pre-existing condition it covered, with extra money for the states that had refused the Obamacare expansion.

I stepped out onto the patio, and stared mindlessly over the rough sea, which was heaving like a man with a box turtle. There was a musky smell in the air, like someone had just wiped santorum over the whole world. Wind whipped the water into a foam and blew it, bouncing along the beach in santorum-like clumps, illuminated by the lights of the buildings.

There was a rough knock on the door. I opened it, and Chuck and Nancy came in.

'I can't do it again! You'll have to find someone else to help you!' I said.

Chuck looked at me like I was something stuck to his shoe, and Nancy said 'Wipe the santorum of your face and pull yourself together! We need to get to work! We need to stop this legislation! Again!'

'Aw, come on, Guys!' I said. 'This thing was dead. And now it's back! Just over and over again, like some creature in a bad horror movie! - Or like the political career of Rick Santorum!'

But I knew it was no use. Chuck and Nancy were right! We had to fight this monster at least one more time!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Making General Lee Great Again

There was a riot in Charlottesville, Va at a 'Unite The Right' rally, ostensibly to protest the removal of a statue of Robert E Lee.

Charlottesville, a pleasant, graceful city at the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, is home to Monticello, and the University of Virginia.

Charlottesville is home also to a statue of Robert E Lee, the Confederate General. In the nineteen teens and twenties, many such statues of Confederate heroes were erected. Racism was fashionable, and the Second Klu Klux Klan formed and was at its peak. The movie 'The Birth Of A Nation', based in the popular book 'The Clansman', was showing in theaters. And in Charlottesville, a wealthy townsman, who cherished memories of the antebellum South, commissioned the statue and donated the land for Lee Park.

Now, nearly one hundred years later, many of those statues are coming down - being removed to assuage modern American sensibilities.

The main groups in attendance in Charlottesville on the right were the KKK, neo-Nazis, and other 'Alt-Right' groups, members coming from around the country. On the left were Black Lives Matter, some other violent leftists, but also many non-violent protesters, including local college students and citizenry. The local and state police failed to keep the protesters and counter-protesters separated, and both sides were ready to fight. Some were dressed in helmets, carrying shields, ready for tear gas on both sides. The right wing protesters were almost exclusively young white men, while the counter-protesters were a mix of men and women of various races. As the groups separated after one brawl, a Nazi sympathizer drove his Dodge Charger into a crowd of counter-protesters, killing one, injuring 19 others.

President Trump issued a statement of condemnation of the violence 'on many sides.' It seemed important to him that we know that this is not associated with any one president, especially him. 'Not Donald Trump. Not Barack Obama. This has been going on for a long, long time.' (Perhaps The Donald was thinking of some recent violent Black Lives Matter protests, during the Obama administration.)

At the rally, Klan organizer David Duke said the rally was a turning point to help 'fulfill the promises of Donald Trump'. In his statement, Trump omitted any specific criticism of the Alt-Right, the KKK, or the American Nazi Party. He also said 'We must love each other, respect each other and cherish our history and our future together. So important.'

Considering that this rally was ostensibly an Alt-Right protest over the removal of a historic Confederate hero, and that The Donald says we must 'cherish our history', and we might think we can see where our President is coming from.

Update: After 48 hours of pressure, The Donald finally read a prepared text in front of the cameras, in which he condemned violence, the Klan, and neo-Nazis.

The next day, The Donald went off script and cited violence from the 'Alt-Left', a term he had apparently just made up, and the peaceful torchlight march by those good people who were just trying to protect their heritage. (The TV News provided footage of that march, with swastikas and confederate flags, young men chanting 'Blood and Soil!' and 'Jew shall not replace us!')

Mr Trump then defended the statue of Robert E Lee.

“Many of those people were there to protest the taking down of the statue of Robert E Lee,” Mr Trump said. “This week, it is Robert E Lee and this week, Stonewall Jackson. Is it George Washington next? You have to ask yourself, where does it stop?

And so, with those words, Mr Trump, the president of our nation, equated the general who founded our nation with a general who sought to destroy it. With this false equivalency, President Donald Trump let us all know just EXACTLY where he is coming from!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Our American Cousin

Donald Trump says that next to Abraham Lincoln, he's the most presidential president ever...

I'm imagining The Donald delivering the first sentence of the Gettysburg Address, in the afternoon of November 19th, 1863...

"Thank you! Thank you! Four score and seven years ago, and I mean - that was like a really, really long time ago, folks - before that Crooked Lying Stephen Douglas was even born - he's dead now and I shouldn't speak ill of the dead!

But before that Crooked Lying Stephen Douglas was even born, our fathers, and don't forget our hot, hot fore-mothers - always remember the ladies, too! Hey! Like my daughter! Is she hot? Yes she is! Yes she is! She is so hot! So hot! So hot!

So, back to our forefathers and those hot, hot fore-mothers - They brought forth on this continent, a new nation - And what a beautiful new nation it was too! Yes! Yes! USA! USA! USA!

Anyway - Conceived in Liberty! Uh Oh! A protester! Get em out! Get em out! Get out! Out! Out! Sorry folks! They show up and think they have a right. I'll show them some rights, and some lefts too!

Anyway... Anyway, folks -A new nation dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Except for that Crooked Lying Stephen Douglas! Lock Him Up! Lock Him Up! Lock Him Up! I know - he's dead, but Lock Him Up anyway!"

image source: cwmemory.com

Friday, May 21, 2010

Cali the Huntress

Cali, the calico cat woke me up at 2:35am because she wanted to be fed. I said NO! and went back to sleep. At 5:40 she woke me again, and even though I usually don't let her out until it gets light outside, and it was still dark, this time I thought it was close enough. So I opened a can of Fancy Feast for her and set out some fresh water as well, and removed the cover from her cat-door, and went back to bed.

Not to many minutes later, as I was drifing off, I heard her coming back in. The door clunked a bit, and she made more noise than she usually does. There was a commotion in the hallway, and a MEOW! and a SCREECH! The SCREECH really didn't sound like noise Cali would make, so I dragged myself back to conciousness and out of the bedroom.

Cali was in the hallway, agitated and looking around. Finally she went into the guest bathroom. I followed. The toilet lid was up, and the seat was down, and there was a large brown mass in there and it was moving. As I got closer, I could see it was looking up at me, with two yellow eyes. There, in the water was a small brown owl. I gathered the bird up and carried it out to the porch. Once it was in the porch it got away, and flew around but couldn't find its way out. Cali had followed us out, and was after the owl again, though the owl stayed up on the screen, and out of Cali's reach. Finally I caught the owl again, and the bird latched onto my finger with it's yellow bill, while it kept its claws in locked on the screen. After I worked it's claws loose, I walked the bird out into the yard, and released it. It flew in the darkness to a rosewood tree beyond our fence, free at last.

My theory is that this bird - an Eastern Screech Owl - a small breed, but a predator, decided Cali would make a nice meal, and swooped down on her. But the owl had made a serious misjudgment, and Cali ended up with the owl.

At any rate - I'm just blown away with what a good huntress Cali is, and puzzled with how she was able to get it, and herself through that tiny cat-door into our house.

And of course we wish she wouldn't bring her work home with her. We are wondering just how this is going to work when we leave Cali alone as planned for a week while we go on vacation in June, with the cat-door left open for her convenience.

And just what will we find when we get home again? A horse?

Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009, the Pangloss Style Summary

That was the year that was: 2009

2009 had some ugly moments for those of us in Casa Stan, but perhaps it was all for the best. As our friend Doctor Pangloss pointed out to Candide, in order to have the good you must also have the bad.

For instance, our 11 year old cocker spaniel, Dusty, died. However, the first 6 months of 2009 were good months for him, following his 2008 ear ablation, until his cancer returned. And as a bonus, we now have our beautiful adopted calico cat, Cali.

Beate's brother Gary nearly died from sepsis - a condition he is vulerable to since his spleen was removed when he was a child. However, he is out of the hospital, recovering, and in farily good health now. And he is more aware of his danger from infection.

My own tumble from a bicycle, where I broke and dislocated my shoulder, was fairly catastrophic, but I am done with my physical therapy and mostly recovered. I have a new helmut now, and took a bike ride with Beate the other day. And tonight as I watched Dick Clark on his New Years Eve show, I was impressed with how far he's come in his re-hab from the devastating stroke he suffered. Last year I mocked him, but after my own rehab I'm a more sensitive guy.

Andrew dropped out of the culinary arts program at PTEC, and quit his job, but then enrolled in SPC, and although he dropped out again, now he's re-enrolled, and he found a new job! (Thanks Val!).

Mom and Dad were in a car crash that destroyed their car, and although they got a new car, I don't think that really offsets the disruption to thie lives.

However, there were a number of bonuses this year with no real down-side. Barack Obama became president, replacing the former occupant. Beate and I went to Hawaii again, and Andrew visited the Hulls and Gearys in San Francisco area, and had a really great time!

And we got an extra special bonus: Evelyn Geary was born!

So on the whole, it was a good year, despite it all.

Happy New Year to all!